The Happy Homemaking Blog

If the young ladies reading my blog are anything like me, then they probably understand how hard the wait for a husband is. For me, it was one of the most difficult times of my life. But somewhere along the way, I learned how important that time is and how it can be used in a beneficial way. 

Song of Solomon 8:4 tells young women not to arouse or awaken love before its time. There was a solid two years for me in which I strongly yearned for a husband before I ever met the man who would be my husband. Looking back, I believe in that time God was awakening that desire for love in me because he was preparing me for the man that would soon be coming into my life. He was using that time to refine me and grow me and prepare me to be the wife I would soon be called to be. 

But, how can you use this time of singleness, waiting for your husband, in the right way? How can you prepare for him? 

Here are a few pieces of advice from someone who understands the difficulty of waiting.

____________________________________________________

1. Pray for your future husband.

I believe this is one of the most crucial things any young woman can be doing, and it can even begin when you’re a child. My mother began praying for her future husband when she was just a little girl, and two decades into her marriage, she’s so glad she did. 

When I say pray for your future husband, I don’t necessarily mean to pray for the things you want in a husband, like “I would like a husband with dark brown eyes,” or “Please give me a husband that is very generous”. While I think there is a place for those types of prayers, what I mean when I say to pray for your husband is just that- pray for your husband. 

Pray that his day goes well. Pray that he is getting the love and attention he needs from his family and friends. Pray that the stresses and worries of life don’t weigh him down too much. Pray that his walk with the Lord grows and brings him peace and joy as he waits for his future wife. Pray for him. 

It brings me a lot of joy to know that when my husband was going through hard times in his life, I was praying for him.

2. Refine yourself.

While you are praying for your future husband and their walk with the Lord, this is the perfect time to be growing yourself into a good wife for your husband. I think that, before we start asking God for the husband we want, we should be asking God how to be the type of wife our husband will want. 

Read the Bible and start learning what biblical qualities a wife should have and what her role is in a marriage. Start thinking about what good qualities you possess, how to nurture those qualities, and how to begin growing the ones that you struggle with. I encourage you to read Proverbs 31 and think about how you can emulate that “Wife of Noble Character”. 

3. Begin a hope chest.

I wrote an entire post about hope chests- what they are, why to get one, and what to put in them- so I’ll be brief here. But I do really believe that hope chests are an amazing way for single women to prepare for their future husband! They are fun to do, they help you to mentally consider your future marriage and husband, and they are a wonderful thing to bring into your marriage. Plus they will be a good sign to your future husband that you are committed and serious about marriage. 

If you want to learn about all things to do with hope chests, check out my previous post: The Lost Tradition Of Hope Chests.

4. Maintain your sexual purity. 

Proverbs 31:12 says, “She (the wife of noble character) brings him (her husband) good, not harm, all the days of her life.” (NIV)

All the days of your life include the ones before you are married, not just during your marriage, and living a lifestyle of sexual impurity is harmful to your future husband and marriage. It doesn’t just affect you. 

When you get married and you join with your husband, you are essentially giving yourself and everything about you as a present to your husband. Everything you bring with you is part of that present. Your good qualities, your purity, the things you’ve saved for him and your home. But you also bring your baggage with you, and the baggage makes it more difficult to fully enjoy the present. The baggage does taint the present. 

I know that may seem harsh, but the ramifications of sexual sin are severe. If you have not partaken in them, stay far away. This may be one of the best presents you can give your husband. If you have partaken in sexual sin, I do believe that there is redemption for you, and I do believe that you have the opportunity to become a new creation in Christ. And I do believe that, if God desires you to be married, then he has a man out there that will see you for the new being that you are.

5. Define your values. 

Know the things that you believe and why you believe them. Read the Bible and pray about the topics you are unsure about. You don’t have to have everything figured out before you meet your future husband, but a good Christian man is going to desire a woman who is passionate about understanding and believing in her faith. A Christian woman that is active in her faith will be very attractive to a Christian man looking for a wife. 

So read the Bible, and even if you don’t come to a conclusion on every single topic, give them deep thought. 

6. Prepare financially.

Preparing for my marriage financially was another gift that I was proud to be able to bring into my marriage. From the age of twelve, up until I got married, I had a job and I saved a lot of money. The majority of the money I saved, I intended to bring into my future marriage and give to my future husband. So, for the several years that I was working, I was doing it with my future husband in the back of my mind. I was excited to be able to contribute to our marriage and show my husband that I had been wise with my time and money. 

And I will add that I was able to do this without going to college. I knew that my main desire in life was to be a wife, and that I didn’t need a degree to do that. In fact, getting a degree would likely have caused me to bring debt into my future marriage, rather than money. So instead, I just worked various jobs that I didn’t need a college education for and I saved most of the money I made. 

You can go to college to pursue something if that is what you desire to do, but don’t think that you have to in order to prepare for your future marriage. 

7. Maintain a presence of grace and modesty.

This idea is somewhat of a sub point of item #4, because it is a part of maintaining your sexual purity. Everything about who you are and what you do before marriage can contribute to your marriage. You can prepare for your future marriage by wearing modest clothing, keeping your language clean, and simply having an attitude of graceful femininity. 

Wearing revealing clothing is not the same as engaging in sexual acts before marriage, but it is in a way sharing your body with others when it is meant only for your husband. Dressing in a respectful manner will show your future husband that you care about him enough to save every part of you for him.

Keeping your language clean and maintaining an attitude of grace is simply a way to keep yourself pure in all areas and refine yourself into a Godly woman that your future husband will want to marry.  

8. Write letters to your future husband.

This one is not necessary, but it is meaningful and fun! 

When I was sixteen years old, around a year and a half before I met the man who would be my husband, I began a journal in which I wrote many letters and prayers for my husband. These letters captured where I was at in my life at the time, they captured my deep desire for a husband, they captured the struggles that I went through as I waited to meet my husband, and they captured how much I thought about him every day.

It meant so much to my husband when I gave him this journal that I had put so much time and love into that I had written just for him. It meant so much to him that the girl he loved had prayed and loved on him before she had ever even met him. 

Personally, I think it’s a wonderful gift to be able to give your future husband.

____________________________________________________

These are a few of my tips on how to prepare yourself for your future husband! If you have any to add, tell me about them in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you. 🙂