The Happy Homemaking Blog

I’ve experienced a few different seasons of waiting in my life, and all were great tests of my patience and trust in the Lord. 

The first, which I’ve mentioned before on this blog, was the season in which I deeply longed for a husband. This season lasted about two years, and it tested me every day. I prayed about it so frequently and so fervently. Sometimes I prayed that God would make someone come into my life right then and there, sometimes I would pray for God to give me patience, sometimes I prayed that God’s will would be done (whether that meant that I’d find a husband or not), and sometimes I just prayed that God would take away my desire for a husband entirely, so that I didn’t have to go through the pain. There were so many nights of tearfully drifting off to sleep, trying to trust in God’s plan, and yet still feeling hopeless.

Of course God did bring a young man into my life, and that season did eventually come to an end. But my next season of waiting was not too far behind, as this one came when I greatly desired to marry the young man that had come into my life. We lived two hours away from each other and only saw each other on weekends. To most people, this may seem like a perfectly sensible amount of time to see the person you are in a relationship with; I know of happily married couples where, in their relationship, going on one date a week was normal to them. 

But to me, every day that I couldn’t see him and be with him was like a knife in my heart. Every phone call brought a little relief from the pain, but the moment that we said goodbye and the phone went silent by my ear, the pain and the missing him intensified greatly. 

I’m so grateful that that season didn’t last long and that I don’t ever have to worry about when I’ll see my husband next anymore. My heart is so much more peaceful with the knowledge that I get to finish every day by falling asleep in my husband’s arms at the end of the night. 

But now I find myself in a new season of waiting. It’s not as trying as the previous times, but it has its difficulties. Currently my husband and I rent a one bedroom apartment, and I really want to buy a house. Don’t get me wrong, God has truly blessed us with a wonderful apartment that meets our needs and that we love. But I really want a house that we can call our own. A home with no other people that live on the other side of the wall, a home that we can look after and take care of, a home that we can fix up and make into what we want, a home where I can start a little garden, a home in which we can host our friends and family once in a while, a home in which we can begin making some of our hopes and dreams happen. 

This has been a desire of mine for about a year now, and we’re still not feeling close to making it happen. We’re on a limited budget as it is, but this year has brought us some large vehicle repair expenses that have set us back even further, not to mention the fact that affordable houses are few and far between these days. 

But as much as I hope for the right house to come along right now, and as much as I wish that we could save faster than we are able to, I simply have to wait. I try to be patient, but of course there are days where it really gets to me. There are days where I can’t help but dream about living in our own little home, and the fact that I feel so far away from that dream often makes me feel suffocated. Sometimes my heart begins to race and my head fills with worry when I think about all the things that I hope to do in life and how I feel so behind. 

There is simply nothing we can do at the moment but wait, trust in the Lord, and steadily plod on with our savings. That’s a tough place to be in, but it’s a good one. 

When I think back on my previous times of waiting, even though I remember how hard they were, I’m grateful for them. They taught me a lot and refined me so much. I know this time will do the same, so even on the days when I hate it, I’m grateful to be in it. I’m grateful that the Lord is always so patient with me, even though I so often fall short of Him. 

Just as in my other seasons of waiting, I’m trying to use this time as fruitfully as possible. Whenever my thoughts and worries threaten to sweep me away, I try to instead turn them towards prayer. I try to think about all of the things I’m grateful for in my life right now. When the fear of the coming days tries to lead me astray, I try to think about how I can use this day for God’s glory. And I’m trying to get my heart to the place where I can sincerely say that even if God doesn’t grant me the desires of my heart, I will be content anyway. 

Trying to do these things isn’t always easy and I don’t always succeed, but I’m trying. 

If anyone reading this post is in a similar boat, I hope that this was at least in some way uplifting for you. If any of my readers have some prayer requests that are on their hearts right now, I’d love to hear about them in the comments and I’ll keep them in my prayers. 

____________________________________________________

“Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.”

Psalm 33:20-22, ESV

~

“But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”

 Isaiah 40:31, ESV

~

“For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.”

Psalm 62:5, ESV

~

“Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.” 

Isaiah 30:18, ESV

~

“The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.”

Lamentations 3:25, ESV